can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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