i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
