hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
