Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my being single is dangerous.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
