It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
