I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
