**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
