sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize