You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
