My liver just broke up with me...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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