Duck Duck Cougar?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
