So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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