So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
