i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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