i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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