my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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