Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
