Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
