I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
