the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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