Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
