I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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