'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
