real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
