Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
