Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
