im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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