when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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