Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
