Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you had me at cake vodka
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
