Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i only shaved half my leg

(201): View more from New Jersey

on purpose

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(440): View more from Ohio

Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

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(917): View more from New York City

It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.

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(720): View more from Colorado

He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.

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(708): View more from Illinois

bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.

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(315): View more from New York

someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this

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(323): View more from California

Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me

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(850): View more from Florida

I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.

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(802): View more from Vermont

wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..

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