i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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