Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize