You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
