so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
