Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
