One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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