Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
the raccoons are back...
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