i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
