what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
