AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
