I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
