He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
