Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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