Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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