She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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