Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You left your underwear on the fireplace
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
