Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
