Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Still dying that you shit outside
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
