Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
