i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
