i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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