Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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