Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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