Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
