Sponge bath it is.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
