i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
