her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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