"it" just moved
the condom got lost in my hair
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
