The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize