4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
