Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
